Club Sandwich

Kate Moss caused a volcanic eruption last week because EasyJet didn’t have enough to eat on her flight back from Turkey.

Apparently the starving supermodel threw a seismic shit-fit when sandwiches sold out, so overzealous cabin crew called the cops, which sounds to me like making a mountain out of a mouthful; it’s not as if she ran naked and urinated over a spiritual eco region like for example Kinabalu in Malaysia.


Perhaps next time the catwalk queen flies, she should pack her own lunch? I could recommend the following club sandwich recipe.


Toast three slices of bread and spread one side of each with the mayo. Next slow cook the bacon under the grill until crispy. Now build the sandwich layering with first the bacon, then egg, then tomato, add some mustard and finish with the turkey. Top with the second slice, repeat the layering process, and top with the third. Cut into quarters and hold together with cocktail sticks.


Eleanor Hawkins served three days in prison for exposing herself on Borneo’s most sacred sierra; perhaps a more fitting punishment for the numpty nudist would have been to dress in orange and serve out her sentence as a budget airline stewardess; most in that job seem to be carrying plenty of heavy emotional baggage, and are always more than two hours flying time from karmic Zen.



Club Sandwich


3 slices of white sandwich bread, crust on

4 rashers of streaky bacon

1 tspn mayonnaise

1 tspn Frenchies mustard

1 hard boiled egg, sliced

1 tomato, sliced

6 wafer thin slices of turkey breast